Out of control parents
Over the last couple of weeks I have been taking our school district to task and discussing with some of our wonderful teachers school issues as they relate to our kids. Now to take "their side" if you will and tackle another problem...parents or should I say out of control parents.
"Wade Campbell threatened to shoot his son's Little League coach when the 12-year-old didn't see enough playing time, the coach alleges.
Campbell denied the accusation from jail Monday and said he isn't one of those pushy parents on the playing field. He cursed at the coach, he said, but never threatened him.
On a St. Paul baseball diamond Friday, witnesses' statements say, Campbell joined the ranks of overbearing parents at children's sporting events and later made a threatening phone call to the team coach and his wife. "
As the parent of a sports crazed kid (soccer, basketball AND baseball) I have seen more than my fair share of overbearing parents. I have seen parents yell at referees (usually kids themselves that play for the high school team). I have seen parents yell at coaches - although not often as our sports league has a zero tolerance policy that is strictly enforced. The common theme with all of these parents is that the parent is of the opinion that their child should never ever suffer disappointment in life. That they are to be affirmed at each and every turn. Now I understand the theory behind positive reinforcement - I used it all the time in training my horses and dogs. However, I also fully understand that children have to be told that they are "wrong" from time to time - that they have to be told to "work harder" from time to time - that they have to be told "NO" from time to time. These parents who fully indulge their child's every whim are doing the kid no favor. For the rest of the world will not see little Johnny as Mumsy and Daddy do. The rest of the world will say (in much harsher terms than Mom or Dad will) the things that the kid needs to hear.
I personally think that the Junior Logician is a stellar catcher and short stop and those are his favorite positions to play. However, the last two seasons of baseball he rarely, if ever, got to play those positions and the kids that did get to play those positions struggled there. However, everytime the Junior Logician came complaining to Mom and Dad we deferred to the Coaches decision - stating "he must have a reason why". This years coach has used the Junior Logician a lot at both positions.....using him as catcher for a couple of pitchers that "struggle" with everyone else. As a result of not playing the position for 2 years, he has a deeper appreciation for the positions and is putting his all into his game. He has learned not only to play positions that he did not like (outfield, 3rd base) he has discovered how to play them well.
It is hard to say "NO" to your kids or to not go to bat for your kids. You feel like such a heel when you don't - but sometimes it needs to be done. Especially at this age. Kids need to learn how to deal with difficulties that arise when they arise - it is one of those larger lessons in life that we all need to learn. By not letting them learn how to handle disappointment, you do them a disservice. You will not be around forever to handle things for them. The sooner they learn how to deal with life's unfairness the better. Threatening to shoot a Little League coach who does not play the kid does not teach them anything but how to be a bully.
"Wade Campbell threatened to shoot his son's Little League coach when the 12-year-old didn't see enough playing time, the coach alleges.
Campbell denied the accusation from jail Monday and said he isn't one of those pushy parents on the playing field. He cursed at the coach, he said, but never threatened him.
On a St. Paul baseball diamond Friday, witnesses' statements say, Campbell joined the ranks of overbearing parents at children's sporting events and later made a threatening phone call to the team coach and his wife. "
As the parent of a sports crazed kid (soccer, basketball AND baseball) I have seen more than my fair share of overbearing parents. I have seen parents yell at referees (usually kids themselves that play for the high school team). I have seen parents yell at coaches - although not often as our sports league has a zero tolerance policy that is strictly enforced. The common theme with all of these parents is that the parent is of the opinion that their child should never ever suffer disappointment in life. That they are to be affirmed at each and every turn. Now I understand the theory behind positive reinforcement - I used it all the time in training my horses and dogs. However, I also fully understand that children have to be told that they are "wrong" from time to time - that they have to be told to "work harder" from time to time - that they have to be told "NO" from time to time. These parents who fully indulge their child's every whim are doing the kid no favor. For the rest of the world will not see little Johnny as Mumsy and Daddy do. The rest of the world will say (in much harsher terms than Mom or Dad will) the things that the kid needs to hear.
I personally think that the Junior Logician is a stellar catcher and short stop and those are his favorite positions to play. However, the last two seasons of baseball he rarely, if ever, got to play those positions and the kids that did get to play those positions struggled there. However, everytime the Junior Logician came complaining to Mom and Dad we deferred to the Coaches decision - stating "he must have a reason why". This years coach has used the Junior Logician a lot at both positions.....using him as catcher for a couple of pitchers that "struggle" with everyone else. As a result of not playing the position for 2 years, he has a deeper appreciation for the positions and is putting his all into his game. He has learned not only to play positions that he did not like (outfield, 3rd base) he has discovered how to play them well.
It is hard to say "NO" to your kids or to not go to bat for your kids. You feel like such a heel when you don't - but sometimes it needs to be done. Especially at this age. Kids need to learn how to deal with difficulties that arise when they arise - it is one of those larger lessons in life that we all need to learn. By not letting them learn how to handle disappointment, you do them a disservice. You will not be around forever to handle things for them. The sooner they learn how to deal with life's unfairness the better. Threatening to shoot a Little League coach who does not play the kid does not teach them anything but how to be a bully.
Labels: Parenting
posted by The Lady Logician at
6:53 AM
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